Dartboards and Dates
by DarkRose Dilettante
Summary: Love hurts. A hell of a damn lot. Suigintou was definitely going to make sure of that. Some will find the courage to hold on. But others; the strength to let go.
1. Prologue: Date Night

**This idea came to suddenly right out of the blue, and I just had to get it written. Although it only started out as a oneshot, I do have more ideas to continue it, so please tell me what you think! :D**

**Basically, it's sort of set in an AU where the dolls are just normal human girls. There's not much background info in this chapter but if I do continue this there may be more revealed. **

**Enjoy~! XD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rozen Maiden or any of its characters.**

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**_Dartboards and Dates_**

_I'm dead._

_Dead._

Sakurada Jun felt a bead of sweat trickle agonisingly slowly down the back of his neck and down his shirt as he sat bolt upright in the chair, hands gripping the rests tightly enough to turn his knuckles white. He dared not even risk the movement of a blink, for there was no telling what horrendous torture would befall him. His eyes watered painfully, and there was an unbearable itch on his shoulder that was causing him immeasurable agony.

Terrified, he stared through tear-blurred vision at the girl standing before him, arms folded across her chest and a look of supreme contempt upon her beautiful face. She reminded him of one of those torturous, sadistic interrogators on crime dramas. He half-expected her to have a whip tucked somewhere in the folds of her black dress.

Suigintou Rozen – the very epitome of a vengeful death angel. If her glare had been a drill, she would have bored a hole through Jun's head _and_ the wall behind him.

Unable to bear it any longer, Jun shifted slightly in his seat, only to freeze in terror as Suigintou's eyelid twitched fractionally. He licked his lips in one swift, nervous movement, and flinched inwardly as the silver-haired girl's eyes narrowed slightly. Wasn't the interrogation of the boyfriend supposed to traditionally be the protective older brother's role? But then, Shinku didn't _have_ an older brother…

_Nope, she just has a potentially homicidal older sister…_

The silence wore on, heavy and grim with impending doom. After a few moments, Suigintou's eyes narrowed further.

"_So._"

Jun allowed himself a moment to marvel at Suigintou's uncanny ability to cause his heart to go into cardiac arrest with a single syllable. It was ironic how Shinku also very often made his heart feel as though it had forgotten how to beat, though for the _complete _opposite reasons. It almost seemed like some sort of a harsh punishment – for having the perfect girlfriend; he had to put up with her murderous, menacing and bitterly jealous sister.

Only unlike in those romance movies, the sister was jealous _of_ him, not _for_ him.

Suigintou took a single step towards him, and he had to fight down an urge to whimper and cringe back in his seat.

_It's worth it,_ Jun told himself frantically, _for Shinku, it's worth it…_

It just wasn't fair.

After all the effort he'd thrown in trying to convince Shinku to go out him in the first place, when she'd finally said 'yes' to him, he was now faced with an obstacle that dwarfed any he had faced before in trying to secure Shinku – the oldest Rozen sister, Suigintou, the terrifyingly overprotective and ruthless sadist whose love for her younger fifth sister bordered on the incestuous.

"_So,_" Suigintou said again, drawing the word out in one long, slow, menacing leer. "I hear you're taking Shinku to the movies tonight."

Somehow, Jun found the courage to nod wordlessly. The death angel's eyes narrowed even further.

"I-it's a…chick flick…" he stuttered, voice trembling. Suigintou picked up the two scraps of paper lying on the table beside her – the movie tickets.

"_Prom Night_? Yes. A chick flick." Her voice was dripping with deadly sarcasm. She shot another killer glare at Jun, and read off the back of the ticket. "Donna and her friends must find a way to escape the sadistic rampage of an obsessed killer, and survive a night 'to die for'."

Jun gulped. According to Tomoe's advice, thriller-horror movies about mad axe murderers were the best way to guarantee Shinku would be clinging to his arm and hugging him in girly fear by the end of the night. Of course, then he would whisper with as much manliness as he could muster, the classic line, "Don't worry, I'll protect you…" and then Shinku would look up, murmuring "Oh, Jun…", she would lean in towards him, and then…

The sudden click of the heel of Suigintou's boot on the floor snapped Jun cruelly out of the fantasy that had begun to play in his head. She was approaching him slowly now, like a predator moving in for the kill. Panickedly, Jun wondered where the hell Shinku had got to.

"Oh, just wait a few minutes here, Jun. I have to get ready," the blonde had said when he turned up, ushering him into the enormous sitting room where she'd been with Suigintou. She had then disappeared up the great marble stairs and was somewhere now in the huge Rozen mansion, blissfully unaware of the lethal danger her boyfriend now found himself in.

_Please come back NOW, Shinku…_Jun pleaded silently, thinking that this was the longest 'few minutes' he'd ever had to wait through. He realised with an overwhelming sense of fear that Suigintou was maintaining her steady death stare with every step she took towards him. Terrified of meeting those violet eyes which were darkened with the very obvious desire of shredding him to pieces, Jun's gaze slid sideways to the cabinet standing against the wall. It was filled with trophies glinting golden under the light of the chandelier.

"Oh," Suigintou noticed his timid movement immediately. "I see you're admiring my prizes."

Jun gulped as she inched closer.

"Uhmm…y-yeah…they're very nice."

Suigintou's lips twisted into a chilling smile, and Jun had to physically restrain himself from standing up and running as fast as his legs could take him in the opposite direction.

"They are, aren't they?" The oldest Rozen girl's cruel grin widened, twisting maliciously to show her teeth. "I'm particularly proud of this one right here – when I won the international _darts _championship…"

_D-darts?_

"Yes…they say my accuracy and precision are unmatched – the best in over fifty years…"

An image of the bloodthirsty Rozen girl throwing needle-pointed implements – indeed, the thought of her with _anything _even remotely sharp in nature, even a pencil, made Jun feel as though his blood had just frozen in his very veins.

"You know, we had to throw out my old dartboard last week, and I haven't had a chance to _get a new one_…" Suigintou said, tapping her chin thoughtfully. Her violet eyes travelled with deliberate slowness over Jun, coming to rest pointedly on his groin area before flickering away.

"Has Shinku told you that I also do a spot of _rifle shooting_ for leisure? We have a firing range right here on the mansion grounds…a pity we have only a few targets, though. I shall also have to get more of those…"

New dartboard.

Rifle shooting target.

The message rang as loud and clear as a death sentence could.

He did not need to be told directly to understand what was being implied. The silver-haired avenger standing before Jun leaned forward and grabbed his collar, jerking his face right up close to hers.

"You listen carefully, mister," Suigintou hissed. "Try anything…_funny_…tonight and you may find yourself missing _parts _when we next meet…"

Her eyes trailed inevitably down to his crotch area again – the very source of her anguish – before snapping back to lock her icy glare back on his face.

"Got that, _punk_?"

He nodded as furiously as his position would let him, and Suigintou released him viciously.

"Jun, I'm ready to go!"

He breathed a deep sigh of relief, feeling as if the weight of a thousand tonnes had just been lifted on his shoulders as Shinku appeared at last, coming up from behind Suigintou.

_Thank god…_

The minute the blonde entered the room, Suigintou's expression underwent a full transformation from a blood-thirsty, terrifying she-devil into a look of soft and tender adoration.

"Have you two been getting along?" Shinku eyed her older sister curiously. Suigintou beamed and clapped Jun on the back, perhaps a little harder than was really needed.

"Like two happy peas in our cosy little pod!" she said brightly. Jun coughed and spluttered as he felt her nails digging into his shoulder.

"Uhhh…yeah, we really…hit it off…"

At this, a smile lit up Shinku's face, and Jun was able to truly believe for a moment that it really was all worth it.

_She's an angel from the heavens, that girl…a godsend…_tears threatened to prickle his eyes.

But then, of course, a sharp sting shot through his arm and Suigintou's fingers dug even deeper into his flesh; the hairs on the back of his neck stood rigid as he became painfully aware of a dark killing intent building up behind him. Shinku, however, seemed oblivious to all this, and took Jun's hand almost shyly, a faint blush sprinkled across her pale cheeks. Behind him, Suigintou let her breath out in a sharp, faint low hiss.

"Come along, then. We haven't got all night," said Shinku, trying to sound as commanding as she usually was, instead of as flustered as she looked. She dragged Jun along behind her.

"Bye, Suigintou!"

"Remember not to come home too late, Shinku! And…have…have a nice time!" Suigintou's last words seemed to have been forced out with great effort on her part. As Shinku pulled him away, Jun dared to glance back at the older Rozen. Her expression, now that her younger sister was not looking in her direction, had rearranged itself into a wrath-filled mask of cold fury, her eyes glinting icily like two hard amethysts.

A shiver ran down his spine as he watched Suigintou mouth at him,

_New._

_Dartboard._

There was no mistaking those words formed soundlessly on her lips.

As if that wasn't sufficiently threatening, she slowly mimicked cocking a gun and aiming it. Jun eyes travelled inadvertently to the rifle that hung on the wall beside Suigintou's trophy cabinet. When he next glanced back at Suigintou, the hungrily demonic look on her face suggested she was thinking of all the ways she could blow his head off with it.

"Jun? What's wrong?"

He turned to see Shinku staring at him.

"Er…hehe, oh it's nothing…just a bit…nervous, I guess."

She gave him a rare, radiant smile that was slightly dizzying.

"Let's enjoy ourselves, shall we?"

And though he could feel a deathly glare burning two holes in the back of his head, Jun smiled wryly and slipped his hand in Shinku's.

They say that for love, there is no price too great to pay.

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**Thanks for reading~! :3 **

**Please review and tell me what you think. Maybe I'll continue? :D**


	2. Chapter 1: A Problematic Poisoning Pt1

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Hello everyone~! I'm baaack! I know I haven't been updating recently, and that's probably because I've recently gone into a lazy slump. But that's okay. Because I have a little voice in the back of my head that will be nagging me incessantly to update and that won't stop until I do.

**So here it is, the second chapter of _Dartboards and Dates. _I will be updating Love Letters soon, hopefully, once I sort out the 'G' letter because I wrote a chapter for 'G' but I wasn't satisfied with it, so i decided to rewrite it.**

**This story just started out with the prologue as a random thought in my head, but it's expanded since then and I've decided to continue it. It's basically sort of an AU where the Rozen Maiden are human girls. And, well...there'll probably be more background later on.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Rozen Maiden or any of its characters.**

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**_Dartboards and Dates_**

**_Chapter 1: A Problematic Poisoning_**

**Part 1**

* * *

Suigintou Rozen lived by a very simple philosophy: Don't like, don't live.

In other words, she had a rather nasty habit of killing people whom she disliked. Fortunately, despite her difficult temper and prickly attitude, underneath all the thorns was a surprisingly accepting, generous and kind-hearted soul. _Un_fortunately for Jun, he fell into the category of the very few people she actually did hate. In her eyes, at least, the logic and reasoning behind this was really quite straightforward.

Jun was dating Shinku. People who are dating _do_ _things_ to each other. They _hug_, and _touch_, and_ kiss._ The very thought of that filthy boy's hands and lips actually making contact with her lovely sister made Suigintou feel intensely nauseous.

Of course, it didn't just end there, oh no. Suigintou had carefully considered every detail, every possibility of the bigger picture. What started out as just touching and hugging and kissing would no doubt eventually develop into something _more. _They would be doing..._other _things, in certain..._places._

At the root of it all, Jun was a guy. Guys have..._parts_. And whilst normally Suigintou saw those _parts_ as nothing more than areas to be hit when their owners annoyed her, the situation now was very different, as those _parts_ actually held a possibility, however slim, of...no, it was mentally impossible for Suigintou to even begin to think of going there.

Suffice to say, anything with testicles that so much dared to lay a finger on her precious sister, Suigintou swore to hunt down to the end of the earth and obliterate. She would wipe his existence off the face of the earth. She was going to grind his bones to dust with her bare hands. Suigintou didn't like Jun – not a single bit, and returning to her basic philosophy, that meant only one thing.

Sakurada Jun must DIE.

If Shinku couldn't be hers, she would not allow Shinku to be anyone's.

It was quite devastating, then, for Suigintou to find that if she _did_ completely annihilate Jun, she would have to deal with the undesirable consequence of upsetting her beloved little sister. Suigintou didn't want to make Shinku hate her, but she couldn't just sit by and watch this _intruder_ waltz in and snatch the precious blonde from right under her nose. No, in fact, she had a sacred duty as Shinku's sister to protect and preserve her innocence against the tainted hands of that stupid, dirty boy.

Thus, Suigintou concluded, her current actions were completely justified.

"_Completely justified_," she muttered under her breath, pressing her eyes into the binoculars Kanaria had lent her and peering through the green foliage. Beside her, Megu raised an eyebrow.

"You sound like you're trying to convince yourself more than anyone else," the black-haired girl observed mildly.

"Ssshhh! You're breaking my concentration! Goddammit, it's hard to follow them in this crowd..."

"Why did you drag me out on a perfectly sunny Saturday to go stalking your little sister and her boyfriend when we could be having fun doing something not creepy somewhere else?"

"Because you're my best friend and if I don't do this I just know that little brat will get up to no good."

Megu rolled her eyes and shifted uncomfortably.

"Also remind me why we have to hide in a bush when we're in the middle of a shopping plaza, surrounded by people and on the complete opposite side of the street to Shinku? I mean, we look like a couple of freaky, weirdo stalkers at the moment." Megu paused abruptly to consider that perhaps Suigintou already _was_ a freaky, weirdo stalker.

Her silver-haired friend didn't reply, and was instead hissing quietly under her breath. Megu sighed exasperatedly, something she realised she was doing a lot of nowadays around the psychotic Rozen girl.

"What are they doing now?"

"He's...he's holding her _hand_..."

"Well, this may come as a shock to you, but that _is_ what couples are supposed to do."

"He broke my 'no touching', 'five-hundred-metre-distance' rule," Suigintou spat, and Megu noted with some alarm that the silver-haired girl was actually trembling with fury. "I _need_ to get a restraining order on him..."

"Geez, calm down, Gin," Megu glanced around them, "I really don't think we should be squatting here behind a bush...people are giving us looks...I swear someone's going to call the police soon." She jumped as Suigintou grabbed her arm.

"They're going into that café..." the Rozen girl murmured, slowly getting to her feet.

"Suigintou..." Megu warned.

"I'm following them in there, nothing and nobody will stop me. Do you hear? _Nobody_."

The other girl gave a long-suffering sigh. "Fine."

* * *

Something was wrong.

Perhaps it was just paranoia resulting from too many traumatic incidents involving a certain bloodthirsty, vengeful death angel who happened to be his girlfriend's sister, but Jun had developed something of a sixth sense for life-threatening dangers. As he entered the café with Shinku beside him, he suddenly felt a chill run down his spine. He shivered, glancing back over his shoulder, but couldn't see anything out of the ordinary on the bustling street.

"What are you doing?" Shinku was tugging on his sleeve, arching her eyebrow in that infamous look of aristocratic aloofness.

"Eh...nothing..." Jun tried to smile awkwardly and followed her to their table. The blonde watched him impassively as he shifted uneasily in his seat. After several uncomfortable minutes, he seemed to reach a resolution, or at least plucked up the courage to ask Shinku about the cause of the nagging sensation at the back of his mind.

"Um...so...what are...your sisters doing today?"

Shinku's eyes narrowed slightly.

"Why do you ask that?"

"J-just curious, that's all...hehe..."

The corner of Shinku's lip twitched in half-heartedly disguised amusement as she poured out a cup of tea. She knew Jun too well for his vague question to fool her.

"If you must know, Suigintou should be finishing her kendo lesson just about now."

"K-k-kendo?" Jun gulped. Yet another skill that had the potential of killing him that he hadn't known of before. How many did that make now? Darts, taekwondo, karate, kung-fu, fencing, _rifle shooting for leisure_...and now kendo...was Suigintou training to be some sort of elite government assassin?

"Oh, Jun. Has she not told you? She has a passion for the martial arts. You know, fighting and crushing her opponents, that sort of thing – what's wrong? You look a little sick."

"Ah no, I'm fine, I'm fine...nice to see your sister enjoys her, ah, extra-curricular activities."

Shinku smirked behind a sip of tea.

* * *

"Um..." Megu sat opposite her friend, not quite sure how to put this in a way that wouldn't upset the obsessed stalker girl. "Don't you look..._interesting_."

They were sitting at a table in the corner, just behind where Shinku and Jun were, Megu with her back to them and Suigintou sitting on the other side to her. The silver-haired girl was wrapped up in a large brown duster coat acquired from goodness knows where, a red balaclava covered the bottom half of her face and dark glasses concealed her eyes. Her distinctive hair was gathered up under a black fedora hat.

"It a disguise, Megu. A _disguise_."

Megu would have pointed out that such clothing could hardly be called disguise when they were sitting in a café and she currently resembled something of a mixture of Al Capone and one of those old western cowboy bandits, but sometimes with Suigintou it was just better to let things take their natural course.

That natural course was, unfortunately, for the waiters, waitresses and other customers to give them either strange or terrified looks, and for the manager to hurry into his office and dial the emergency number for the police.

None of that mattered to Suigintou, of course. She was too busy maintaining her surveillance of Shinku and Jun over a menu she was pretending to be reading.

"Um...can I take your order?" One courageous, dedicated-to-service waitress had sidled up to their table, trembling as she held up her notebook and pen. Her eyes flickered from one girl to the other, until finally resting on the more normal looking one who wasn't dressed like a terrorist.

"I'll have a caramel slice and a cappuccino, thanks. And for her..." Megu glanced across at Suigintou, who was now muttering something that sounded suspiciously like 'kill kill kill die die die" under her breath. "Er...I think she'll pass."

The waitress nodded, tried to smile brightly, failed, and scuttled away as fast as courtesy would permit.

* * *

The back of Jun's neck prickled.

He knew it did such a thing for only two reasons – the more mundane option was that something was just pressing against it; either that – or Suigintou was somewhere in the vicinity. Desperately hoping it was the former, he passed his hand over his shoulder and casually scratched the back of his neck. It prickled with more intensity, and he felt his heart sink to his feet. Ever so slowly, he turned his head to the side, pretending to look at a picture on the wall, all the while glancing sideways at the table behind him.

_Oh, crud._

Suigintou Rozen was sitting behind him.

He discarded the fact that she was dressed like some sort of Wild West underworld gang boss as irrelevant – there were more important things to consider at the moment. Such as the preservation of his life.

The eldest Rozen was death-glaring him over the top of a menu, violet eyes glinting like cold, hard amethysts boring into the back of his head. He turned, very slowly, every basic human survival instinct screaming at him to get out of that café and run, run for the hills.

Shinku seemed to be completely and blissfully unaware of her sister, and was quite enjoying her cup of tea.

"Are you alright, Jun?" she asked again. It was becoming quite a frequent question, she noticed. "You look like you're about to faint."

"F-fine..." the unfortunate boy muttered.

"If you say so...please excuse for a moment, I need to go to the restroom." As Shinku stood, Jun shot to his feet with her, almost upending the table in the process.

"I'll go with you!" Whatever happened, with Suigintou around he must _not_, under _any_ circumstances, be allowed to be alone and vulnerable in the open with the silver-haired maniac.

Shinku gave him a long, hard look, her eyebrow shooting up.

"...to the _ladies' bathroom?_"

"N-no, of course not, I mean – uh, that is to say, let's go together – as in you go into the ladies and I go into the gents and we go into...into separate..." Jun trailed off as the blonde regarded him with faint trepidation.

"Okay..." she said slowly.

"Heheh...yeah...have...fun?"

Shinku shot him another slightly perturbed look before disappearing into the ladies' restroom.

* * *

"A chance!" Suigintou hissed suddenly across at a rather startled Megu.

"What?"

"This is my chance!"

After following every minute movement Sakurada Jun made as he crossed the room to the bathrooms and confirming to her satisfaction that no, he had not entered the same bathroom, and therefore not the same cubicle as Shinku (where goodness knows what he could do to her), Suigintou now saw an open opportunity to sabotage her potential future brother-in-law (shudder).

Megu didn't like the strange glitter in Suigintou's eyes at all. She had a medical condition – a weak heart, and the malice that lurked in the depths of those otherwise beautiful violet eyes could potentially be enough to send her into cardiac arrest.

"Suigintou, you're going to kill me in a sec if you don't stop looking like you're about to blow this place up."

Her friend stared at her, momentarily befuddled.

"What?"

"Never mind."

"Anyway, look at this beauty," Suigintou reached into the depths of her coat and drew out from her inside pocket a small sealed vial filled with a small amount of white powder that looked like sugar. Knowing Suigintou, it almost certainly wasn't.

"What is that?"

The silver-haired girl's eyes glinted with a wild glee and the smile of sadistic delight that crossed her features was so terrifying it caused a child sitting at a nearby table to burst into tears.

"Potassium cyanide. It's poisonous."

"Th-this isn't funny, Gin! You'll kill him."

Suigintou cocked her head and frowned.

"Isn't that the whole idea?"

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**Part Two soon to come~! :D**

**Thanks for taking the time to read!**


	3. Chapter 1: A Problematic Poisoning Pt 2

**Part Two is here~! Hope you enjoy, despite my inconsistent writing... =.='**

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"Suigintou, I'm fairly sure Shinku won't be too happy about it if you poison Jun, and you'll probably go to jail for the rest of your life anyway," Megu said, carefully trying to remain calm. Suigintou stroked her chin.

"You have a point there. Would you mind living a life on the run with me?"

_Okay, so police threats have no effect on this maniac._

But then again, this was Suigintou Rozen, a girl who possibly had the potential to dominate the world if she put her mind to it.

"Oh, and by the way, might I ask how exactly you obtained that...cyanide?" Megu was trying her hardest to sound casual.

"From a couple of friends. Originally they were going to give me polonium, but then I figured it's radioactive, so other people might accidentally get contaminated too."

"Who the hell do you make friends with, exactly?"

Suigintou was frowning at Megu again.

"Sorry, I can't tell you. Their identities are classified. But if you dial a secret number and state the codeword – "

"_Are you serious?_"

"Ssshh!" Suigintou was watching a waiter bring two cups of tea to Shinku and Jun's vacant table. As he left, she stood, slipping the vial of cyanide up her sleeve.

"Suigintou – no, don't, I mean it, please..." Megu's hisses fell on deaf ears as the silver-haired girl adopted an air of nonchalance and glided across the floor. As she passed her sister's table, her arm moved slightly – that, and a faint sizzling, hissing sound were the only signs Megu could discern that indicated she had done anything at all. If you hadn't been looking for it, you would have missed it.

Well, Megu supposed, she shouldn't be surprised. Were Suigintou not currently studying a medical degree in university, she could have been a top-notch assassin, or undercover government spy.

The eldest Rozen had by now reached the opposite side of the room, and as she walked past the bathrooms both Shinku and Jun emerged from them, by some strange coincidence. Their reactions couldn't have been more different. Shinku smiled and greeted her sister with affectionate politeness and mild surprise, whilst Jun's face paled, before turning a faint shade of sickly green. He looked as though he wanted to run back into the restroom and lock himself in a cubicle.

"Why, hello, Suigintou. What a coincidence, meeting you here." Shinku stared for a moment at her older sister's outfit, then decided it was probably more polite to just not ask.

"Oh, Shinku, my adorable little rosebud, I'm sure this must be the threads of fate at work," Suigintou cooed, throwing her arms around her sister. The blonde's smile faltered slightly with confusion.

"P-pardon?"

"Hi Shinku!" Megu came up beside Suigintou. She hesitated as she turned to Jun, wondering if Suigintou would be angry at her for acknowledging his existence. But then, Megu felt quite sorry for the poor boy, and he actually seemed quite nice from what little interaction they'd had. "Hi, Jun!"

The boy nodded, looking quite ill. "H-hello."

"Oh," Suigintou, left with no other choice in front of Shinku, turned and stared at him with a barely disguised glare of disgust. Her voice had taken on the quality of a biting, icy Arctic wind. "So _you're_ here, too." Before Jun could pass out from heart failure, Shinku interjected, her timing impeccable as always.

"Why don't we go back to our table instead of standing around here? Suigintou?" The older girl slipped her arm around her sister's and clung to it enthusiastically, almost knocking the blonde over. As they crossed the room together, Megu wondered briefly if she should inform Jun that his tea would very probably kill him, and if so, how to break it to him calmly and as gently as possible to ensure minimal panic. And if Suigintou found out...

But then they were already at the table. Too late. Megu opened her mouth to blurt it out, considering that it was for the good of all of them that Jun didn't end up on life support in a hospital, but then something happened that neither she nor Suigintou not anyone, for that matter, could have foreseen.

"Oh dear," Shinku said suddenly, picking up the cup of tea on Jun's side of the table – the cup that had been poisoned. "It seems they made a mistake. The Darjeeling is mine and the Earl Grey is yours, isn't it, Jun?" She handed him the cup that had been placed on her side of the table. Suigintou's mouth dropped open in shock, an overpowering sense of cold dread crashing over her in an icy wave.

_CRAP!_

_STUPID!_

_WAITER!_

_CRRRAAAAAPPPP!_

Beside her, Megu's face had turned the unhealthy colour of porridge. Suigintou watched, her heart in her mouth, as Jun took what she'd thought was Shinku's cup, praying to the gods that she wouldn't drink it. That would hopefully give her time to somehow think of a way to get rid of the tea before Shinku consumed it and the deadly cyanide.

_How did this happen? It was supposed to be __him__! _

Suigintou's heart seemed to stop beating altogether as Shinku began to raise the cup to her lips.

_SHI - #$*#$*&$! CRAP CRAP CRAP!_

This was it. There were no other options left; Suigintou lunged for the cup, just as Jun and Megu cried out simultaneously, wrenching it from her sister's grasp and, without a second thought, drained the entire cup empty.

Silence.

And then a sudden burst of flurried panic silently exploded in her mind.

_WHY HELL DID I DO THAT? I could have tipped it out, or pretended to spill it, or chucked it across the room, or – or – anything other than swallow the stupid damn poisoned tea!_ It took all of Suigintou's willpower to stay exactly where she was, and keep a straight face. Megu looked completely stunned, swaying faintly where she stood. Her face had progressed from a pasty, pale colour to an unhealthy shade of light green.

"S-Suigintou?" Shinku was staring uneasily at her older sister.

"A-ah, sorry about that, Shinku! Please excuse my abruptness, I was just feeling a tad thirsty..."

Jun stared in anxious shock at Suigintou. He had obviously deduced what had happened, with his previous near-death experiences around Shinku's older sister. Suigintou glanced desperately at Megu, who looked back to Jun, her eyes pleading silently. An unspoken agreement seemed to be exchanged.

"Are you alright? You look unwell." The seemingly oblivious Shinku touched Suigintou's arm, gazing up at her with a look of such concern that had Suigintou not currently been in danger of dropping dead any moment, she would have had blood gushing out of her nose at high pressure.

"N-no, she's fine, we'll just be going now, I just remembered we have somewhere we need to be," Megu interrupted hastily, her voice shaking. She grabbed Suigintou's arm and headed towards the door.

"Hold on, Suigintou, I really think I should take you to the doctor's – "

"Ah, Shinku, come on, she'll be fine, we shouldn't just leave the café like this..." Jun tried to pull his girlfriend back to their table. She tugged her hand back with irritation, making after Suigintou and Megu.

"Nonsense, Jun. Tell them to just charge it to my account later. How can I just abandon my own sister?"

"No, Shinku, she's fine! Really! She just needs to get home and get some sleep!" Megu insisted. Suigintou nodded as vigorously as she could, her cheeks rapidly turning a bright shade of scarlet. "See? She's blushing! Healthy as a – a horse!" Without waiting for Shinku to protest, Megu practically sprinted out the door, Suigintou in tow. The two girls hurried down the road, and it wasn't until they reached the end of the street a few minutes later that Megu finally stopped and turned to Suigintou, furious and panicked all at once.

"WHAT THE _HELL_ WAS THAT?"

Suigintou had collapsed to her knees, gasping.

"Megu...call...ambulance."

"WELL OF COURSE!" The black-haired girl was fumbling for her phone. Suigintou's complexion was uncharacteristically ruddy by now, and she seemed to be shaking unsteadily.

"Listen carefully..." she managed to rasp with carefully controlled composure just as Megu finished her call. "I'm about to start convulsing – "

"DON'T SPEAK, YOU SUICIDAL IDIOT!" Megu took deep breaths, struggling to restrain herself from strangling her friend.

"Suigintou," she continued, making an effort not to scream. "Why in the name of _CHRIST _did you drink that cup of tea? You could've thrown it, or pretended to drop it, or – _something_!"

"It was on the spur of the moment, okay? I was...under pressure..." Suigintou coughed. "Just listen. I'm probably about to start convulsing any minute now. In forty-five minutes, if I'm not treated, I'll die from cardiac arrest – "

Megu stared down at her in disbelief.

"WOULD YOU STOP TALKING? Geez..." Megu was hyperventilating again. "...at least the hospital's close by – I think.

"Megu – "

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP, OKAY?" As Suigintou opened her mouth again, Megu clamped both hands down on her lips. "I swear, Gin, if you die on me right now I will punch your cold, dead face to a pulp. Okay? Got that? Doesn't moving make the poison spread faster? Or is that snake bites? Just don't move, don't speak!"

Suigintou was struggling to say something underneath the cover of Megu's firm hands.

"Huh? What?"

"...-dote...the antidote..."

"The antidote?"

Suigintou reached into her coat with a trembling hand and drew out a small box. Megu stared at her in disbelief.

"YOU HAD THE ANTIDOTE WITH YOU ALL ALONG?"

The silver-haired girl smiled weakly.

"Sorry. I only just remembered."

"Suigintou – if you weren't dying already...I'd _strangle_ you to death..." Megu growled, opening the box and unfolding the instruction. She stopped.

"Crap."

"What?"

"WHY THE HELL IS IT IN ENGLISH?" Megu turned to Suigintou, panic beginning to settle into her eyes again. "I can't read English, goddammit!"

"Are you kidding me? Can't you tell from the diagrams?"

"The drawings are crappy!"

"Meguuuu!"

"Okay, okay so I shouldn't have jigged the English lessons at school. Just what in heaven's name are you going to do now?"

"Give...give it to me..." a new voice, hesitant and stuttering, interrupted their mounting panic. The two girls turned to see Sakurada Jun standing awkwardly behind them, his face a mixture of fear, concern and determination.

"Y-You – " Megu clamped her hand over Suigintou's mouth again.

"Gin, now is so _not_ the time. Sakurada-kun, you can read English, right?"

Jun nodded, his expression growing stronger, set with a persistence and resolve that neither of them had ever seen before.

"Here, you've got to inhale this first." He leaned over Suigintou. She met his solemn, grave gaze with surprise. He suddenly seemed a lot older and mature than the puny, spineless boy she had first taken him for.

"Wh-why?"

"Huh?" Jun stared down at her.

"Why are you doing this? I hate you, remember?"

"Well," Jun looked uneasy. "Even if you want to kill me, it's not like I can just stand by and watch you die like this. You took that... ("Potassium cyanide," said Megu rather unhelpfully)...whatever it was...for Shinku. That's something I can forgive."

"So...you're doing all this for her...stupid kid." She gave a short laugh. Megu stared on in stupefied wonder.

"No. It's not just for Shinku. It's for you, too. I want you to be around and alive to accept me when I prove myself worthy for your sister."

Suigintou honestly had no idea what to say. She would have considered coming up with some snarky, cutting retort, but it was getting hard to think. This was a side of Sakurada Jun that Suigintou never seen before, or at least that he had never exhibited in front of her. Was this what Shinku saw in him, which she herself missed?

_Ridiculous._

Roughly dismissing the thought from her mind as Jun drew out a syringe and held up her arm, Suigintou glared at him as best she could, her vision swimming before her.

"Just know that this doesn't change anything between us, punk."

The boy sighed, sticking the needle into her skin, perhaps harder than was necessary.

"Yes, yes."

"But..." Suigintou grudgingly let slip the tiniest of smiles as her sight dimmed. "Thank you."

_Maybe..._

_Just maybe...for once..._

_I was wrong._

_

* * *

_

_~ Three weeks later ~_

Suigintou struggled out of her huge bed, groaning slightly. Her head swam, and she swayed dizzily before making her way to the door.

"What are you doing, stupid big sis?" Suiseiseki was there in the hallway, arms folded.

"I heard the front door – "

"Oh, yes. Shinku's chibi boyfriend just arrived. Now, why don't you – go – back – to – bed – like – a – good – deathly – ill – girl – wah!" she pushed Suigintou back into her room, only to be knocked against the wall as the oldest Rozen knocked her aside with surprising strength.

"She's fine now, though I am really surprised that she could get a stomach bug so suddenly. She's usually so robust and healthy – and it was such a serious illness. I had no idea until she came home from the _hospital. _I still don't know the details, though, because for some reason not a single one of my sisters cares to tell me..." Shinku's voice floated up the spiral staircase. There seemed to be a murmuring reply. Sakurada Jun.

Suigintou raced down the steps, skipping two at a time, flounced past the enormous living room where Souseiseki and Hinaichigo were having tea with a visiting Megu, and entered the foyer just in time to see Shinku lean forward and kiss an intensely flushed Jun on one bright scarlet cheek.

_Kiss..._

_She actually...just kissed..._

Something in her snapped. What tiny little goodwill towards him that seemed to have sprouted since three weeks ago suddenly shrivelled and disappeared.

"S-Saku-rada – you – "

In the living room, Megu sighed. "And I actually thought he had a chance this time round."

Jun, beginning to back away from the door, had on the kind of face you see when one realises that the Apocalypse is approaching and all of humanity is about to be completely obliterated. Of course, 'completely obliterated' was probably an understatement for what potentially lay in store for him. And even so, he had to admire how only Suigintou could achieve such a powerful killing aura even whilst clad in nothing but her chemise nightgown and purple slippers.

Shinku turned to see Suigintou come up slowly from behind.

"Suigintou," she frowned. "It isn't good for you to be walking around. You should be resting. Aren't you still unwell?"

"Oh, I'm perfectly well now, Shinku," Suigintou drawled, her voice soft and perfectly venomous. "And considering what may have been happening in my absence, I actually think it will be _much better _for me to be walking around."

* * *

**Okay, so I know when someone gets poisoned by potassium cyanide, the symptoms and how it actually feels are probably all messed up in this story, but then I've never been poisoned by cyanide before, so I couldn't really write from personal experience, and I was just stuck with what info I could find from quick research on the Net. **

**Hopefully it's not too far-fetched. But then, this is Suigintou we're talking about, and she's such a badass that she could probably survive even a nuclear explosion. Just kidding. ;P**

**More will come. Soon, hopefully. Thanks so much for reading, everyone~! XD**


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